A short “what to do” guide for school bully’s parents

Parents received a complaint from the school that their child offends other students in one way or another. What should parents do in such a delicate situation, if we talk about the educational aspect. Here it is important to note at once that it is impossible to punish the child thoughtlessly. It is important first of all to find the root of its defiant behavior, and then apply the appropriate counteraction. Even punishment, if necessary.

Let’s look at the typical causes of the child’s bad behavior in school and the best ways to influence it.


Causes of the child’s bad behavior

  • Problems with compassion for other people;
  • Projecting the aggression of tensions and conflicts between parents;
  • Low self-esteem;
  • Lack of attention
  • The desire to win the favor of classmates in impressing them;
  • Similar pressure from older sisters and brothers bullies;
  • Lack of attention to the child’s personality by parents;
  • Soft attitude to the nature of the child on the part of parents;
  • Attempts to give a commensurate answer to offenders.

That is, there are many problems and each has its own approach. It is difficult to compute, but there are also many tools to help the parent, which will help to effectively influence the child: to teach one to control feelings, to seek other ways of resolving differences, to bypass the attacks of others.

Let’s take a few simple recommendations as the basis if your child something has done at school and you were asked for conversation. And, also, we’ll mark some points to interact with the child after.

  • Keep calm. None of the school staff and “offended” parents need another conflict.
  • Sometimes the child’s behavior is associated with a certain form of social inferiority. This can lead to similar situations of intimidation or attacks on other children. You may need an individual training program.
  • Impose a constructive dialogue by listening carefully to the version of the injured party and your child on equal terms.
  • It is important to be clear, not just emotionally and decisively, to explain the damage and consequences.
  • Teach your child empathy. Show him an example of what it is like to be in the place of an offended child and what that feels. Teach him an apology.
  • Show the child how to find alternative ways of interacting with peers instead of violence and pressure.
  • Go around without violence to the guilty child, but give clear and strict understanding of the punishment that will follow the second time.
  • Demonstrate a model of non-violent and constructive solution of issues and problems in everyday life, on a personal example. Talk about the importance of this with your spouse.
  • Openly encourage situations when the child begins to treat others kindly.
  • If his behavior does not change over time, violence and punishment will not help. You need to seek the help of a specialist.

But, together with all that has been said, there is the best way to work on the problem: preventing bullying. For this, parents should unite and discuss the educational processes of interaction with their children both within the school context and in everyday life. Mass discussion of the situation together with children will help to prevent problems.
The word can be stronger than the forced action after.

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